Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Laying Shadows to Rest



Breaking through
each sleeping layer of self
I emerge
from this dark night of the soul.

Unfurling tendrils of thought,
I feed upon the Light,
swallowing whole Truths
in a single gulp,
stretching impossibly wide
to take it all in,

like Grandmother Toad
drinking down the Moon
in all Her full blown glory.

Until,
Light begins to shine
through me…

Bright beams of Truth

kindling with my acceptance,


revealing Wisdom unguessed 

hidden within my depths,

like priceless gems

within the cave of my heart.

But you would not see the Truth in me.

Rejecting those beams of Light,

just as I was stubbornly blind

to the Darkness within you

for so long.

I was not ready to see

your delusions,

your jealousies,

your selfish ways,
your need to be lied to

and led, oh so easily,

down any path

but one of your own choosing,

or how you loved your Shadowself

more than the bright flashes

I once believed to be the true you;

Once so close, in my mind’s eye,

we might have shared the same shadow,

you and I.

Until the day came

for me to lay my Shadow to rest.

When you turned from

my Day bright Truths

in fear and anger,

blaming me for all your unhappiness,


all your fears come home to roost

once more

as your own children languished

in the barren Night you had chosen…

unable to thrive

on the hollow Illusions

that laden your table.

Thrust into a bitter Winter

where you blissfully remember

only a Summer that never existed.

Only then could I see you

for what you really were,

and embrace

the Night and Day of my Self.

In exchange for my loyalty,
you gave me betrayal.

In exchange for my love

you gave me jealousy and anger.

In exchange for a place in my family

you treated us all like enemies.

In exchange for each bright Truth

I tried to give you,

you gave me nothing


except lies,

dark nights to burden my soul,

petty pity-me tantrums,

and sugar spun dreams

because they tasted better on your tongue

than the cold ashes Truth would leave behind.

I see you now as you truly are,

Light and Dark,

not just the pieces I valued,

not just the true friend

I once believed you to be.

I can see how much you prefer

the easy winding road of good intentions

that your imagination

lays out before you.

I saw everything with clear eyes at last,

and only then could I let go of you.

For you prefer your Illusions to Truth,

My Shadow,

and I choose Truth,

Light,

Love,

Laughter

over that empty fearful void any day
even if it hurts or takes more work.

I no longer carry

the cold heavy stone of you about my neck,

and my shoulders don’t ache any more

from the burden of carrying you so far.

Left beside the road,

an unmarked headstone

for an empty grave

where lies the Illusion of who you were to me…

Sister

Friend

Fellow champion

of ideals and truth…

And I find the ghost of my Shadow

has left hardly a footprint

in the dunes of my memories…

while the rest of you walks off

towards false horizons

you love more

than the Truth of your choices.

Happy trails!

Rest in peace, my Shadow.

Until the Wheel turns

and we meet again…

a little wiser for the wear,

I hope,

and less willing to offer you

a piece of my soul on a silver plate.






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